Flash back to the early months of 2010 and you will find my close to 20 months pregnant with my third child. I was a full time student at Ohio University studying Anthropology. My first two births (which will be shared here someday) were great hospital births. I had a great Doctor and was young enough to not know any better, so I perceived my experiences as positive ones. This time around I found myself feeling something that I could not put my finger on. Every time I envisioned my birth and saw the hospital, my heart began to pound and my body would freeze. I had no reasons to be afraid but somewhere deep inside I heard the meekest voice asking for change. As I talked about my feelings, a few close family members and friends kept saying the word "midwife" and "home birth." That distant voice got louder each time she heard mention of a midwife until I could distinctly remember the first time I had ever heard that word. I was 18 and hugely pregnant with my first child and had run into travelers who lived in a school bus. They kept telling me to just come with them and have my baby on their bus, they knew lots of midwives. I thought they were crazy! Not to mention none of them urging me to birth in a bus even had their children present. I told myself I would never listen to people who didn't even have their babies with them, let alone to people telling me I didn't need to go to the hospital.
That voice got louder though and at some point I decided to listen. I did research and it led me to Delphine Silvermoon. A midwife new to the Athens area. When I first saw her name on my screen I felt safe. When I first heard her voice on the other end of the line, I knew in that instant that my plans for this baby had changed. I called my husband excited about the meeting I had just set up, not knowing that I had also changed the course of my life, too.
Monday night we took the boys to the county fair and spent some quality time with them. We returned home and tucked the boys in bed and Matt and I enjoyed some time alone. We made love as if we instinctively knew it would be awhile before we would again. We watched a movie while a lot of that time was spent watching my belly undulate. I awoke at 3AM with contractions but ones that never lasted more than a minute and never got painful or closer than 10 minutes together. There was no familiar pulling down below but I sat awake until 6AM, even taking a shower shortly before I dozed back off. On Tuesday, 8/10/10, four days past my expected due date- I woke at 11AM disheartened that I had fallen asleep, which represented that my contractions had dwindled to nothing as morning washed over us. I greeted the day with my usual mind set of staying busy. I got the family ready for the day and we headed off to town for some errand running. We dropped of Matt's car at the shop, went school supply shopping, took our oldest boy to the skate shop, and has ice cream at Larry's Dawg House. I went to an OM appointment at 2PM and we were home by 3:30PM. I had sent out several texts to special people letting them know about my previous nights contractions. One of my three younger sisters sent me a message: "Today would be a fine day to have a baby!" I couldn't concur more but seeing that contractions had stopped all together, I secretly feared that we would be braving another sleepless night. My other sister, Angeleena was beside herself that I had been having signs of labor and wanted to come right then. I was worried she would drive down and nothing would be happening. So I told her of the huge possibility that I would not go into labor and told her to just wait until I knew for sure that it was time, but she wanted to visit her nephews.
She arrived around 5PM, shortly after Matt and Wendell rode to town to pick up Matt's car. My sister and I hung out and she spent time with the boys making beaded key-chains. Matt and Wendell returned back home around 5:45PM and my sister and I went on my nightly walk to see if I could create any contractions. Although it was ridiculously hot and humid, the walk only spurred mild practice rushes. By this time in the evening I didn't feel like cooking or having anyone else cook in my slightly clean kitchen, so I chose to take a shower and order some pizza to feed the fam. I called and ordered the pizza at 7:27PM and my sister and I departed for town. Right before we left I started to feel slightly nauseous but it passed quickly. My sister and I joked and enjoyed our time together. On the way home, roughly 8:15PM, I started having some painless and tight practice rushes. I didn't pay them any mind due to the fact that riding in the car always seemed to cause practice rushes. When another came and I mentioned it to my sister, she pointed out that they weren't even five minutes apart. We pulled into our drive around 8:30PM and brought the pizza in. I got the boys pizza and grabbed myself a bread stick and mentioned to Matt that I was having quite a bit of contractions. As I was enjoying a piece of pizza I decided to start timing my contractions simply because they were coming so rhythmically and coming close together even though they were painless. It was 8:47PM and I was having contractions that were one minute long and were only two minutes and 47 seconds apart. I walked through a few and decided to call my midwife at 8:59PM. We talked about the nature and frequency of my contractions and she asked if I was still able to walk and talk through them. Since the answer was yes, they seemed painless to me and I was doing just fine, we decided to check back in at 11PM.
I called the people who were to be present at the birth to tell them to be on standby. I was pretty sure that tonight was going to be the night. Matt and I started readying the house. We were a great team- getting the bed ready, the birth kits out and accessible. I prepared the birth pool, while Matt moved cars to accommodate the cars that would be arriving. When he returned and saw me busily working, he asked me to please take a break. I walked to the living room and was greeted by my sister's eager face. She said she didn't know what to do to help. I calmly told her that she would be of the most assistance if she stayed calm for me. I checked my phone to see if I missed any calls or texts and found that I had missed two calls from my midwife, one at 9:45 and the other at 9:49. I returned her call at 10:15PM and found that she was on her way, she just had a feeling that she should head out and check on me. She asked that Matt keep my phone on him so he could answer the phone for any reason. I gave her some directions and hung up happy that she was on her way. From this point things picked up quickly. My contractions had escalated to the point that I needed to moan through them and I started feeling the need to use the restroom. In between contractions I cleared the way for baby several times. The contractions gradually but quickly became more intense. I had decided around 10:30PM to tuck the boys in bed so that they wouldn't be up all night. I asked them to hurry so I could have them in bed before the next contraction started. I gave them kisses and explained I would wake them as soon as the baby came (We had already discussed that they would prefer not to watch the birth.) I walked back out to the living room just as a contraction hit. I moaned through the contraction with a low even breath and said to my sister, "If this is false labor, this is a mean joke." Another contraction waved over me and I maintained my moan. Moaning with a low voice seemed to relieve the pressure that was steadily intensifying. As the contraction ended I heard Matt saying that Delphine had arrived and I immediately felt relief. She made it indoors just as a contraction was ending and she asked if she could check me and asked for me to go where I would like that done. At this point it was roughly 10:40PM. I only made it from the couch to the recliner when I had to go to my knees leaning onto my recliner to moan through another contraction. Delphine began applying pressure to my tailbone which felt amazing! We made it to the bedroom just in time for another contraction. I climbed onto the bed on all fours and began my moan. Delphine added counter-pressure and talked me through my contraction. She always had something supportive to say. "You did great allowing your body to work through that contraction." "This is just your body opening up so your baby can be born, that one is behind you and you will never have to do that one again." She was amazing. Her words carried an energy that wrapped me in comfort. She checked me and I was 5cm and 100% effaced, baby was at zero. Whoa baby! I laid there for a minute and Delphine gently reminded me that laying down would not help, so I got up and put my birth skirt on and walked back to the living room. I made it to my recliner in time to use it as a brace for another contraction.
I began to feel really hot and decided I wanted to take my shirt off and get my nursing bra on. Delphine took my blood pressure before I walked back to my room. A contraction hit in the hallway, they were coming so quickly I couldn't seem to figure out why. I made it to the bed, Delphine helped me to get my bra off so I could switch into nursing gear. Another contraction and I rolled to all fours and moaned through the contraction while Delphine continued counter pressure. As that contraction ended I heard Delphine telling me that I was putting my head down low and asked if that made it feel better. Which it did, much better! She said that would slow it down and asked if I wanted to get into the pool and I happily agreed. I noticed that my sister was busy getting my birth music on and sent her a smile. I made it into the pool as another contraction washed over me...this one was different somehow and my low moan began to wave with the sensation I was feeling. The next contraction and I felt my baby move down and I asked why it was moving so quickly. Delphine reassured me that everything was fine and I was doing great. Matt was applying pressure and I asked for him to push harder as my wavering voice began to pick up. I felt like a tribeswomen singing a very primal song or like a wild animal letting energy pour from my mouth as I roared with the intense pressure. I can remember saying several times, "There is so much pressure!" At some point I could feel my body involuntarily beginning to push (which is an odd sensation) with contractions and it felt amazing to open up like that, it seemed to relieve some of that incredibly intense pressure. With each contraction I moaned, taking the role in my head of a singing tribeswoman. I got worried at some point that I was going to wake the boys and apologized for being so loud. My midwife said I was singing beautifully and my sister said I did not need to apologize and I was amazing. Delphine asked for me to roll over so she could check the baby's heart rate. At first the attempt was too much but I eventually managed to roll over and Delphine went to work searching for baby's heart. She was having a difficult time because the baby was so low behind the pubic bone. The head was just starting to crown. Delphine asked me to reach down and feel my baby's head! It took me several attempts before my hand listened. My fingers found a bulging softness and my body went quickly back to work. As the next contraction built I began to feel the "ring of fire" and I said twice, "I need the baby to come now!" My midwife looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "Erica, you can have your baby anytime you want, the baby is right there, you have the power, you can bring it out whenever you want." Here I felt I was waiting on something before that could happen. I was determined, Delphine attempted to check heart tones once more while we waited on the contraction and she was still having a difficult time. She calmly said, "Okay, I need you to have the baby now, with the next contraction I need you to push." I grabbed my sisters hand and Matt's hand and with the next contraction I moaned and breathed low, pushing with the contraction. I felt the head come out, another contraction immediately followed, and I pushed feeling the shoulder come out and then the amazing sensation of the baby's body moving through my body. Immediate beautiful relief as the baby was out and being handed directly to me. I hear the sound of my midwife's voice, "what is it?" and I saw instantly that I had just given birth to a little girl. "Matt, Matt, its a girl!" and the feeling I had was the most amazing experience ever. I felt so empowered and strong, relieved, amazed, in awe! I had just given birth completely naturally at home in water to a healthy beautiful baby girl. She was born at 11:24PM not even three and a half hours after my labor began surrounded by exactly three of the most beautiful people I could have asked for, my partner, my sister, and my loving midwife.
I can remember at one point squeezing my sisters calve with my whole arm through a contraction as she gently stroked my back. I can remember Matt leaning in to give me a hug as a contraction hit and I enveloped his head in a head lock. I can remember by midwife looking at me with love and support. No one else that was suppose to be present for the birth made it, not the apprentice, nor either grandma, it all happened so quickly. However, my birthing experience was exactly as it was suppose to be, quiet, intimate, and completely amazing. Truly one of the most empowering experiences of my life! My only regret is a big one. We didn't get a chance to record the birth. I fear its sharpness will fade from my memory and if this is truly my last pregnancy, I would have loved being able to watch it in the future.
That voice got louder though and at some point I decided to listen. I did research and it led me to Delphine Silvermoon. A midwife new to the Athens area. When I first saw her name on my screen I felt safe. When I first heard her voice on the other end of the line, I knew in that instant that my plans for this baby had changed. I called my husband excited about the meeting I had just set up, not knowing that I had also changed the course of my life, too.
Monday night we took the boys to the county fair and spent some quality time with them. We returned home and tucked the boys in bed and Matt and I enjoyed some time alone. We made love as if we instinctively knew it would be awhile before we would again. We watched a movie while a lot of that time was spent watching my belly undulate. I awoke at 3AM with contractions but ones that never lasted more than a minute and never got painful or closer than 10 minutes together. There was no familiar pulling down below but I sat awake until 6AM, even taking a shower shortly before I dozed back off. On Tuesday, 8/10/10, four days past my expected due date- I woke at 11AM disheartened that I had fallen asleep, which represented that my contractions had dwindled to nothing as morning washed over us. I greeted the day with my usual mind set of staying busy. I got the family ready for the day and we headed off to town for some errand running. We dropped of Matt's car at the shop, went school supply shopping, took our oldest boy to the skate shop, and has ice cream at Larry's Dawg House. I went to an OM appointment at 2PM and we were home by 3:30PM. I had sent out several texts to special people letting them know about my previous nights contractions. One of my three younger sisters sent me a message: "Today would be a fine day to have a baby!" I couldn't concur more but seeing that contractions had stopped all together, I secretly feared that we would be braving another sleepless night. My other sister, Angeleena was beside herself that I had been having signs of labor and wanted to come right then. I was worried she would drive down and nothing would be happening. So I told her of the huge possibility that I would not go into labor and told her to just wait until I knew for sure that it was time, but she wanted to visit her nephews.
She arrived around 5PM, shortly after Matt and Wendell rode to town to pick up Matt's car. My sister and I hung out and she spent time with the boys making beaded key-chains. Matt and Wendell returned back home around 5:45PM and my sister and I went on my nightly walk to see if I could create any contractions. Although it was ridiculously hot and humid, the walk only spurred mild practice rushes. By this time in the evening I didn't feel like cooking or having anyone else cook in my slightly clean kitchen, so I chose to take a shower and order some pizza to feed the fam. I called and ordered the pizza at 7:27PM and my sister and I departed for town. Right before we left I started to feel slightly nauseous but it passed quickly. My sister and I joked and enjoyed our time together. On the way home, roughly 8:15PM, I started having some painless and tight practice rushes. I didn't pay them any mind due to the fact that riding in the car always seemed to cause practice rushes. When another came and I mentioned it to my sister, she pointed out that they weren't even five minutes apart. We pulled into our drive around 8:30PM and brought the pizza in. I got the boys pizza and grabbed myself a bread stick and mentioned to Matt that I was having quite a bit of contractions. As I was enjoying a piece of pizza I decided to start timing my contractions simply because they were coming so rhythmically and coming close together even though they were painless. It was 8:47PM and I was having contractions that were one minute long and were only two minutes and 47 seconds apart. I walked through a few and decided to call my midwife at 8:59PM. We talked about the nature and frequency of my contractions and she asked if I was still able to walk and talk through them. Since the answer was yes, they seemed painless to me and I was doing just fine, we decided to check back in at 11PM.
I called the people who were to be present at the birth to tell them to be on standby. I was pretty sure that tonight was going to be the night. Matt and I started readying the house. We were a great team- getting the bed ready, the birth kits out and accessible. I prepared the birth pool, while Matt moved cars to accommodate the cars that would be arriving. When he returned and saw me busily working, he asked me to please take a break. I walked to the living room and was greeted by my sister's eager face. She said she didn't know what to do to help. I calmly told her that she would be of the most assistance if she stayed calm for me. I checked my phone to see if I missed any calls or texts and found that I had missed two calls from my midwife, one at 9:45 and the other at 9:49. I returned her call at 10:15PM and found that she was on her way, she just had a feeling that she should head out and check on me. She asked that Matt keep my phone on him so he could answer the phone for any reason. I gave her some directions and hung up happy that she was on her way. From this point things picked up quickly. My contractions had escalated to the point that I needed to moan through them and I started feeling the need to use the restroom. In between contractions I cleared the way for baby several times. The contractions gradually but quickly became more intense. I had decided around 10:30PM to tuck the boys in bed so that they wouldn't be up all night. I asked them to hurry so I could have them in bed before the next contraction started. I gave them kisses and explained I would wake them as soon as the baby came (We had already discussed that they would prefer not to watch the birth.) I walked back out to the living room just as a contraction hit. I moaned through the contraction with a low even breath and said to my sister, "If this is false labor, this is a mean joke." Another contraction waved over me and I maintained my moan. Moaning with a low voice seemed to relieve the pressure that was steadily intensifying. As the contraction ended I heard Matt saying that Delphine had arrived and I immediately felt relief. She made it indoors just as a contraction was ending and she asked if she could check me and asked for me to go where I would like that done. At this point it was roughly 10:40PM. I only made it from the couch to the recliner when I had to go to my knees leaning onto my recliner to moan through another contraction. Delphine began applying pressure to my tailbone which felt amazing! We made it to the bedroom just in time for another contraction. I climbed onto the bed on all fours and began my moan. Delphine added counter-pressure and talked me through my contraction. She always had something supportive to say. "You did great allowing your body to work through that contraction." "This is just your body opening up so your baby can be born, that one is behind you and you will never have to do that one again." She was amazing. Her words carried an energy that wrapped me in comfort. She checked me and I was 5cm and 100% effaced, baby was at zero. Whoa baby! I laid there for a minute and Delphine gently reminded me that laying down would not help, so I got up and put my birth skirt on and walked back to the living room. I made it to my recliner in time to use it as a brace for another contraction.
I began to feel really hot and decided I wanted to take my shirt off and get my nursing bra on. Delphine took my blood pressure before I walked back to my room. A contraction hit in the hallway, they were coming so quickly I couldn't seem to figure out why. I made it to the bed, Delphine helped me to get my bra off so I could switch into nursing gear. Another contraction and I rolled to all fours and moaned through the contraction while Delphine continued counter pressure. As that contraction ended I heard Delphine telling me that I was putting my head down low and asked if that made it feel better. Which it did, much better! She said that would slow it down and asked if I wanted to get into the pool and I happily agreed. I noticed that my sister was busy getting my birth music on and sent her a smile. I made it into the pool as another contraction washed over me...this one was different somehow and my low moan began to wave with the sensation I was feeling. The next contraction and I felt my baby move down and I asked why it was moving so quickly. Delphine reassured me that everything was fine and I was doing great. Matt was applying pressure and I asked for him to push harder as my wavering voice began to pick up. I felt like a tribeswomen singing a very primal song or like a wild animal letting energy pour from my mouth as I roared with the intense pressure. I can remember saying several times, "There is so much pressure!" At some point I could feel my body involuntarily beginning to push (which is an odd sensation) with contractions and it felt amazing to open up like that, it seemed to relieve some of that incredibly intense pressure. With each contraction I moaned, taking the role in my head of a singing tribeswoman. I got worried at some point that I was going to wake the boys and apologized for being so loud. My midwife said I was singing beautifully and my sister said I did not need to apologize and I was amazing. Delphine asked for me to roll over so she could check the baby's heart rate. At first the attempt was too much but I eventually managed to roll over and Delphine went to work searching for baby's heart. She was having a difficult time because the baby was so low behind the pubic bone. The head was just starting to crown. Delphine asked me to reach down and feel my baby's head! It took me several attempts before my hand listened. My fingers found a bulging softness and my body went quickly back to work. As the next contraction built I began to feel the "ring of fire" and I said twice, "I need the baby to come now!" My midwife looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "Erica, you can have your baby anytime you want, the baby is right there, you have the power, you can bring it out whenever you want." Here I felt I was waiting on something before that could happen. I was determined, Delphine attempted to check heart tones once more while we waited on the contraction and she was still having a difficult time. She calmly said, "Okay, I need you to have the baby now, with the next contraction I need you to push." I grabbed my sisters hand and Matt's hand and with the next contraction I moaned and breathed low, pushing with the contraction. I felt the head come out, another contraction immediately followed, and I pushed feeling the shoulder come out and then the amazing sensation of the baby's body moving through my body. Immediate beautiful relief as the baby was out and being handed directly to me. I hear the sound of my midwife's voice, "what is it?" and I saw instantly that I had just given birth to a little girl. "Matt, Matt, its a girl!" and the feeling I had was the most amazing experience ever. I felt so empowered and strong, relieved, amazed, in awe! I had just given birth completely naturally at home in water to a healthy beautiful baby girl. She was born at 11:24PM not even three and a half hours after my labor began surrounded by exactly three of the most beautiful people I could have asked for, my partner, my sister, and my loving midwife.
I can remember at one point squeezing my sisters calve with my whole arm through a contraction as she gently stroked my back. I can remember Matt leaning in to give me a hug as a contraction hit and I enveloped his head in a head lock. I can remember by midwife looking at me with love and support. No one else that was suppose to be present for the birth made it, not the apprentice, nor either grandma, it all happened so quickly. However, my birthing experience was exactly as it was suppose to be, quiet, intimate, and completely amazing. Truly one of the most empowering experiences of my life! My only regret is a big one. We didn't get a chance to record the birth. I fear its sharpness will fade from my memory and if this is truly my last pregnancy, I would have loved being able to watch it in the future.