The story you are about to read is about the first home birth I had attended other than my own. I say first home birth because I had attended one other birth before, the birth of my little sister. Some day I will share that one too, for it taught me all about the power of the vagina! Well, then this birth is the first on the midwifery timeline.
November 11, 2011:: G2P1::
Yesterday, November 10th, I got the call! I have been waiting on this day! I hadn't anticipated it be so soon, I hadn't even met this mama! Delphine called and told me to "get my shawl tied, we were going to a birth!" The birth assistant for this birth was already at another birth, creating the perfect space for my entry. Talk about a quick shove into the world of birth! I was excited but really nervous about leaving Vera. I had wanted to be at births so badly but hadn't really put myself in the place of being without Vera. Especially at night! She nursed a lot at night and I was worried about how her and Matt would do. I ultimately knew they would be fine but still I worried. I finished eating and tucked in my children, nursed Vera to sleep and off I was to Delphine's. I arrived in time to help her load up birth bags and we were on our way. I followed behind in my own car so I could come home when it was over. I cried almost the whole way. I was experiencing such dissonance. I was incredibly happy to be headed to a birth but feeling guilty that I was happy. I feared my partner and daughter would be miserable at the expense of my desire to begin this path. I called my heart mom and asked her to give me some tough love, which she does quite well! She reminded me that Vera was 14 months old and would be fine! She was excited and wanted to hear all about my first birth.
As I drove towards the boarder of West Virginia and Ohio, I realized that this little being was going to be born on 11/11/11- how cool is that? When we arrived, I found it difficult to find a place to park (little did I know that parking is often an issue at births, ha!) but managed to find a spot to pull off on the side of the road. We went in to see the mama and gather information. I wondered if she would be OK with my presence since she hadn't met me. They were very inviting and such an adorable couple. Their TV was huge! After talking with Kristen, we decided it was still early labor and that we would head off to H's house to sleep awhile. Delphine asked for them to check back in 3 hours if not before. We left and headed to H's. I had such a hard time falling asleep. It felt strange for Vera's little body to be missing. I eventually fell asleep on the love seat. Not long after I dozed off, the phone rang. I heard Delphine asking questions. She came out and said that it wouldn't be much longer. They still didn't need us but would be soon. It seemed hours had passed but really only the span of two hours had passed when they called back and informed us that they were ready for us. We were dressed and out the door in less than 10 minutes. It was so cold, I felt slightly nauseous. My sleepy body wasn't use to so much adrenaline at this hour! I quickly transitioned into wide-awake mode. I worked on slowing my breathing, counting to four on breaths in and out. Kristen and Michael were a 10-minute drive from H's, we pulled up with gusto and grabbed the needed bags and entered the door to a chunky 30-second-old Olivia. Pink and wet with a wide-eyed dad, in love and centered. We immediately sprang into action. My hands did work I didn't ask them to do. Delphine listened to and observed the baby. I wiped mom off. We covered them with warm blankets and commented on our amazement. Dad was so proud! I remember Delphine telling them that they received the birth experience they needed. Kristen had a birth photographer who was present, busily capturing the moments. It was her first home birth and she was in awe at the beauty and strength of Kristen. Dad cut the cord and big sister Marlee was woke up and brought out to greet her new sister while mama nursed baby on the couch. So seamless! After awhile we got mama up to pee and move to the bedroom. I helped get the bed ready and helped mama move to her bed. I helped check vitals, a new skill I had been working on mastering! I was so glad I had practiced a dozen times on Matt (which he hated!) Delphine was getting ready to do the newborn exam while I prepared mama some soup and juice. I assisted Delphine with looking Olivia over. Delphine demonstrated newborn reflexes and how to inspect the palette for completeness. We weighed the pink, "roly-poly" baby and were amazed to see 9 pounds 8 ounces on the scale!
Delphine told Kristen that this was my first time attending a birth, which I was nervous for the mama to hear. However she responded with a comment that made me feel so comfortable. It was good to know that my greenness was not entirely obvious. I took this as a sign. We filled out paper work. Who knew birth involved so much paper and writing! Delphine let me write and asked me questions about the birth. Her teaching style fits me so well and I am excited for the future. I learned so much tonight. After several hours, mom and family were ready to go to bed and grandmas were just starting to show up. As the sun began to rise, we packed out belongings, gave postpartum instructions and lots of our love, and we headed home. I stopped for a much-needed coffee and to call Matt. He told me Vera didn't even wake up, so all of those tears I cried on the drive up were for myself. I smiled knowing I would no longer need to worry about my family when I got called to births.
November 11, 2011:: G2P1::
Yesterday, November 10th, I got the call! I have been waiting on this day! I hadn't anticipated it be so soon, I hadn't even met this mama! Delphine called and told me to "get my shawl tied, we were going to a birth!" The birth assistant for this birth was already at another birth, creating the perfect space for my entry. Talk about a quick shove into the world of birth! I was excited but really nervous about leaving Vera. I had wanted to be at births so badly but hadn't really put myself in the place of being without Vera. Especially at night! She nursed a lot at night and I was worried about how her and Matt would do. I ultimately knew they would be fine but still I worried. I finished eating and tucked in my children, nursed Vera to sleep and off I was to Delphine's. I arrived in time to help her load up birth bags and we were on our way. I followed behind in my own car so I could come home when it was over. I cried almost the whole way. I was experiencing such dissonance. I was incredibly happy to be headed to a birth but feeling guilty that I was happy. I feared my partner and daughter would be miserable at the expense of my desire to begin this path. I called my heart mom and asked her to give me some tough love, which she does quite well! She reminded me that Vera was 14 months old and would be fine! She was excited and wanted to hear all about my first birth.
As I drove towards the boarder of West Virginia and Ohio, I realized that this little being was going to be born on 11/11/11- how cool is that? When we arrived, I found it difficult to find a place to park (little did I know that parking is often an issue at births, ha!) but managed to find a spot to pull off on the side of the road. We went in to see the mama and gather information. I wondered if she would be OK with my presence since she hadn't met me. They were very inviting and such an adorable couple. Their TV was huge! After talking with Kristen, we decided it was still early labor and that we would head off to H's house to sleep awhile. Delphine asked for them to check back in 3 hours if not before. We left and headed to H's. I had such a hard time falling asleep. It felt strange for Vera's little body to be missing. I eventually fell asleep on the love seat. Not long after I dozed off, the phone rang. I heard Delphine asking questions. She came out and said that it wouldn't be much longer. They still didn't need us but would be soon. It seemed hours had passed but really only the span of two hours had passed when they called back and informed us that they were ready for us. We were dressed and out the door in less than 10 minutes. It was so cold, I felt slightly nauseous. My sleepy body wasn't use to so much adrenaline at this hour! I quickly transitioned into wide-awake mode. I worked on slowing my breathing, counting to four on breaths in and out. Kristen and Michael were a 10-minute drive from H's, we pulled up with gusto and grabbed the needed bags and entered the door to a chunky 30-second-old Olivia. Pink and wet with a wide-eyed dad, in love and centered. We immediately sprang into action. My hands did work I didn't ask them to do. Delphine listened to and observed the baby. I wiped mom off. We covered them with warm blankets and commented on our amazement. Dad was so proud! I remember Delphine telling them that they received the birth experience they needed. Kristen had a birth photographer who was present, busily capturing the moments. It was her first home birth and she was in awe at the beauty and strength of Kristen. Dad cut the cord and big sister Marlee was woke up and brought out to greet her new sister while mama nursed baby on the couch. So seamless! After awhile we got mama up to pee and move to the bedroom. I helped get the bed ready and helped mama move to her bed. I helped check vitals, a new skill I had been working on mastering! I was so glad I had practiced a dozen times on Matt (which he hated!) Delphine was getting ready to do the newborn exam while I prepared mama some soup and juice. I assisted Delphine with looking Olivia over. Delphine demonstrated newborn reflexes and how to inspect the palette for completeness. We weighed the pink, "roly-poly" baby and were amazed to see 9 pounds 8 ounces on the scale!
Delphine told Kristen that this was my first time attending a birth, which I was nervous for the mama to hear. However she responded with a comment that made me feel so comfortable. It was good to know that my greenness was not entirely obvious. I took this as a sign. We filled out paper work. Who knew birth involved so much paper and writing! Delphine let me write and asked me questions about the birth. Her teaching style fits me so well and I am excited for the future. I learned so much tonight. After several hours, mom and family were ready to go to bed and grandmas were just starting to show up. As the sun began to rise, we packed out belongings, gave postpartum instructions and lots of our love, and we headed home. I stopped for a much-needed coffee and to call Matt. He told me Vera didn't even wake up, so all of those tears I cried on the drive up were for myself. I smiled knowing I would no longer need to worry about my family when I got called to births.
The family featured here are near and dear to my heart. I have been given permission to share their story, complete with names and pictures. All photography is by Allie B. |
So yes, you read that right! My first home birth and I missed the actual birth of the baby by less than 30 seconds. Literally the little chunk was freshly into her papa's hands as we opened the door! That fact does not take away from how foundational this birth was for me. I learned one of the most elemental aspects of birth- that the woman will get the birth that she NEEDS regardless of her plans or wishes. While it is always wonderful and welcome when birth goes exactly as the mother had envisioned it, it seldom does just that. Birth is a labriynth designed not only to bring forth a new baby but a new mother as well. The passage Motherbaby travel is important and is not something entirely in our control. A good birth attendant understands the importance of the woman's journey and respects how different every birth is.